Did anyone watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show?! I missed it :// I had a class alll niggghhhttt :(  

Anyways, today went pretty well for me.  It wasn't what I wanted it to be, but I didn't binge.  

Breakfast :: peanut butter sandwich ://

Lunch :: tuna sandwich, asparagus 

Dinner :: orange chicken, cheesecake (went to The Cheesecake Factory) 

Uggghhhh... now that I typed it out, it seems way worse :(( BUUUT, I did go to the mall and walked around A LOT, so at least that burned some calories. And I didn't eat all of my meal at The Cheesecake Factory, so that's a plus. 

I'm DETERMINED to make tomorrow a better day!

Maybe this thinspo will motivate me::

Annddd I found this survey on http://roseredevil.xanga.com/  :)) She has GREAT thinspo!

Name: Felesha

Height: 5'9"

Dress Size: 7, sometimes 6

Highest Weight: 157

Lowest Weight: 140

Current weight: 146

Goal Weight: 135

Favorite Diet Food: Celery, oranges, ect.

Favorite Binge Food: Going out to eat anywheree.. ://

Favorite Exercise: Eliptical, dancing, classes at the gym, walking

Favorite Thinspo: Real girl, mostly bikini pictures

Where Do You Slip Up: When my friends want to go out to eat.

When Did It Start: Last year... though its not an illness. Just trying to get healthy :)

Does Anyone Know: I'm not sick.

Do You Want Help: I'm not sick. 

How Many Calories Do You Consume A Day: Usually under 1000

What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror: My problem areas.. thighs, arms, stomach.. :// uggh. 

Are You in A Relationship:  Yess. 

Are You Depressed: No

Ever Tried To Commit Suicide: No

Ever Been To A Psychologist: No

I AM CURRENTLY

[ ] Anorexic

[ ] Ednos

[ ] Bulimic

[ ] Living off diet pills

[ ] Hungry

[x] Thirsty

[ ] Drinking something alcoholic

[ ] Under 100lbs

[ ] Starving myself

[ ] Participating in a fast

[x] Restricting

[ ] In binge purge cycle

[ ] Purging all I eat

[ ] Binging without purging

Is your purge: vomiting [ ], exercise[x], diuretic abuse[ ] or laxative abuse[ ]?

PEOPLE

[ ] Ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic

[ ] Call me fat

[x] Say I’m skinny

[ ] Say I’m ugly

[x] Say I’m pretty

[ ] Spread rumors about me 

[ ] Try and force me to eat

[ ] Say I eat too much

[ ] Wish I’d eat more

[ ] Don't know I'm anorexic/bulimic/ednos 

[ ] Tell me I look unwell

[x] Tell me I look great

[x] Try and spend time with me

[x] Try and advise me

[x] Ask me for advice on weight/ food

I WISH

[x] I was THIN

[x] I had a better body

[ ] I didn't have to eat

[x] I could control myself

[ ] I was less than 110lbs

[x] I could avoid food

[ ] I could hide what I am

[x] I wasn’t fat

[x] I was pretty

[ ] I could stop being Ana/mia/ednos

[ ] I was in hospital

[ ] I could die

[x] I was happy

[x] I had the ability to eat and not gain weight

I LOVE

[x] Feeling hungry

[x] Seeing a difference when fasting 

[ ] Shaking 

[ ] Being weak

[x] Losing weight

[ ] being anorexic/bulimic/ednos

[x] Green tea

[ ] Diet pills

[x] being able to turn down food

[x] Feeling good about myself

[x] Being drunk

[ ] Being high

[ ] Waking up in the morning

[x] Going back to sleep a night

[ ] Being told I look unwell

[x] Being told I look healthy

[x] Getting male attention  

APPEARANCE

[ ] I am shorter than 5'4

[ ] I think I'm ugly

[x] I have many scars

[x] I tan easily 

[x] I wish my hair was a different color naturally

[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.

[ ] I have a tattoo

[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance

[ ] I have/had braces

[ ] I wear glasses 

[ ] I am thin

[ ] I would get plastic surgery 

[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger

[x] I have more than 2 piercings.

[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.

BAD TIMES

[x] I've consumed alcohol.

[ ] I regularly drink.

[ ] I can't swallow pills.

[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem

[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression at some point

[x] I shut others out when I'm upset.

[ ] I take anti-depressants 

[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS.

[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it

[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.

[ ] I'm addicted to self harm. 

[x] I've woken up crying

[x] I've fallen asleep crying

[x] I have nightmares

[x] I've lost weight in the past few months

[ ] I've gained weight in the past few months

[x] My weight holds me back

[x] Weight consumes me

[ ] I'm at my thinnest

[ ] I'm at my biggest

[x] I've lost weight and kept it off

[x] I've lost weight but gained it back

[x] My weight affects my mood

[ ] I weigh myself daily

[x] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me

[x] I thrive on compliments and believe them

[ ] I never believe compliments

[ ] I feel bigger than people who are my size

[x] I feel happy when I'm hungry

[x] I get depressed after I eat

[x] I've skipped a meal

[ ] I've thrown food away

[x] I've spit food out

[ ] I've fasted

[ ] I've taken diet pills

[ ] I've used laxatives

[ ] I've purged

[x] I exercise

[x] I exercise so I can eat

[x] I work out secretly

[ ] I work out daily 

[x] I exercise to counteract eating

[ ] I've fainted from exhaustion 

I'VE USED IN A HARMFUL WAY

[ ] Weed 

[x] Cigarettes 

[x] Alcohol

[ ] Diet pills

[ ] Laxatives

[ ] Energy pills, caffeine

[ ] Pain killers

[ ] Anti-depressants

[ ] Ecstasy

[ ] LSD

[ ] Mushrooms

[ ] Speed

[ ] Cocaine

[ ] Heroine

[ ] Other 

PERSONAL

[x] I have a diet blog

[x] I look at thinspo

[x] I collect thinspo

[ ] I think anorexia as a lifestyle choice

[ ] I support pro anorexia

[ ] I tell my skinny friends to eat so they will gain weight

[x] I lie about what I've eaten cos I'm embarrassed 

[ ] I lie about what I have eaten for attention

[ ] I try to purge regularly

[ ] I take laxatives regularly

[ ] I’m on prescribed medication

[ ] I abused prescribed medication

[x] I keep a food diary

[ ] I tell my therapist the truth

HISTORY

[ ] I have been diagnosed with an eating disorder

[ ] I have been hospitalized for my eating disorder (physical)

[ ] I have been hospitalized for my eating disorder (mental)

[ ] I have been tube fed (naso)

[ ] I have been tube fed (stomach)

[ ] I have been admitted for dehydration

[ ] I have been admitted for suicide attempts

[ ] I have been on suicide watch

[ ] I have been for more than i week without food because i couldn’t physically eat

[ ] I have regurgitated food because my stomach couldn’t handle it

[ ] I have had diarrhea from eating food

[ ] I am at risk of osteoporosis

[ ] I have permanently damaged parts of my body

[ ] I have noticeable scars from self harm 

[ ] I have been on medication

[ ] I have been diagnosed with other mental illness